A year ago, a picture like the one above would have not been taken. I wouldn’t have let anyone with a camera near me if I was in a swimsuit top. Posting a picture like this to social media probably means nothing to anyone else, and probably seems like I’m just trying to show off my boobs…but in reality, this is a huge step for me. A step from a place I’ve been for a long time and a step closer to what I’ve been working so hard towards.
I’ve always had a negative image of myself and my body. I’ve never been comfortable in my skin and I’ve been truly working to better myself because of that. I am in no way where I would like to be, but I’m setting realistic goals to get somewhere close. I’ve found that we as women are just too damn hard on ourselves. When I hear my friends say that they’re fat, or not pretty enough, it literally breaks my heart. They are the most beautiful girls in the world and my rocks. It kills me that the thought crosses their mind for a second that they are not incredibly beautiful women inside and out. But in reality, I say that all just as much and it’s unhealthy. Self-hatred and loathing won’t get me where I want to go. Now this picture could fool you, it’s an alright angle and kinda edited so the background looks pretty- but it does show my progress thus far and for that I am happy and feel confident.
I’ve stared at this picture for hours being so close to deleting it off of Instagram & Facebook because I don’t like my smile in it. But that is exactly part of my own problem that I’m trying to overcome. I could name a handful of things I don’t like in this picture about myself, but I’m choosing not to name them. Because in reality, this is me and there’s not much I can do about. I might not like my smile, or my teeth, or my eyebrows, or my hair, but I can say that posting this picture is a step towards growth that is necessary.
I am not perfect and I will never be. But I can work towards growth and improvement everyday. Be you. Be happy. Be free.