The Perfect Hookup Buddy Contract

I actually love this.

the hoe handbook

I, ______________, in signing this contract agree, until otherwise decided by both parties, that I will be the Hookup Buddy to _______________. In making this agreement I am committing myself to the following terms and am fully aware that I cannot break these rules for risk of forfeiting the current arrangement. The requirements stand as follows:

  • I agree to always provide back tickles/rubs when requested
  • I agree that as a Hookup Buddy I will like every Instagram picture that my buddy posts
  • I agree to never speak of any strange or kinky sexual things that my buddy does
  • I agree to always sleep over post-hookup
  • I agree to never stay past 10 o’clock in the morning post-hookup
  • I agree to always provide orgasm for my buddy
  • I agree to always provide breakfast, in the form of pancakes, for my buddy in the morning post-hookup
  • I agree to always listen to my…

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