I have not logged onto this blog in 3 months. Between two jobs all summer, which made for long days and led to exhaustion, I found little to no motivation to keep up a blog which gave me little in return. As I faced the beginning of my senior year this summer, I began to think “Wow, I’m spending my days selling glasses and bussing tables to get by. What the hell am I gonna do with my life?”. The reality is, I’m in a financial situation that requires me to work where I can. I can’t afford an unpaid internship. I cannot afford to work for no pay- a brutal reality for many struggling students. Yet, without an internship, I face the fear that come graduation in May, I’ll have too little experience to start a career in the field I am so passionate about. I’ve laid awake too many nights in my bed thinking about what could have been and what could be.
I’m almost done with my first week of my senior year of college. Looking around, I see so many kids who I have studied with taking huge steps in great directions going towards our common goal. I have been afraid and worried for far too long.
I hope that I can hold myself accountable for regularly turning to this space, as my safe haven, and my portfolio. This year will be my grind. It will be years of loans and tears and assignments. This is my path to graduation. My future is mine. Watch me go.
Sorry I’ve been away for so long, lovers. Let’s get started.